yourbeloved:

My finals are almost over. I have my last one tomorrow at 8AM. It’s math. Everyone I’ve spoken to seems to think that’s so awful to have an 8AM math final, but I like math in the mornings. It’s much easier for me to focus. In high school, I always had math as the last class of the day and it was miserable. I couldn’t focus. Normally I had a headache for some reason. I’ve been studying for this final off and on throughout the day, as well as working on this hefty honors application. I’m tired of all of it. I’ve set my alarm for 4:45AM so I can wake up early and start studying some more. I just don’t think I’m motivated enough to learn this math half the time. With my Speech and Film finals, I was genuinely excited to study for them. I don’t feel this way with my math one. My history professor posted our final exam grades. I didn’t do terrible but I didn’t exactly get what I wanted. It ended up hurting my grade a bit. Being the nice guy he is, he rounded my grade up so I have an A instead of an A-. After using Georgia State’s GPA calculator, that seems to make a difference here in college. I thought an A was an A. It’s not.

I’m going home tomorrow night. I think this time of year has always made me want a larger family. It’s just my Mom and I. I know I shouldn’t mind. My brother’s birthday was on Monday. Oddly, I keep trying to forget that but it’s not coming easy. It’s like one of those things that just puts you in a funk. He’s seventeen now. That’s ridiculous to think about. I remember him as eight and boy-like; getting in trouble, reeking havoc on the neighborhood girls. Even at seventeen, I’m sure he’s still the same. The last time I received an update on his life, he had a girlfriend and was playing football. I really wish he was still around. I was thinking about my father a few weeks ago. I’m sure I spent the entire day thinking about him. I attempted to recall a time he had said, “I love you”. It didn’t have to be in reference to me, but to anyone. I don’t recall him every saying it to me. I don’t doubt he “loves” me, but I think I probably should. I don’t think people are suppose to treat you that way, if that’s the case. I don’t even know what I’m talking about.

I’m obviously very behind on my little thankful project. I have a list of people, I just have had little time to sit down and write something really meaningful.

Earlier today, I was talking to my roommate about her “boy issues”. She always has a lot of them for some reason. Our conversation reminded me of why I shouldn’t be in a relationship. I don’t think I’m fit for that kind of stuff. Some people are cut out for it, some people aren’t. I’m not.

The wait for Incept is killing me. This is something I want rather badly. The people involved with it are so dang wonderful and I would love to work with all of them. I’m not sure I even want to apply next year if I don’t make it. That seems so far away and this is the group of people I want to be with. Not next year’s. This year’s.

I believe I was talking about going home a few paragraphs ago. I don’t want to. It’s just a reminder of how bad things are and how bad they’re going to get. Perhaps I just need a vacation away.

i went to new zealand it was the greatest place i have ever been in my entire life.  go go go.

kiminicole:

Anyone else playing this game? Cause, I’m not having fun.

i played this game for 6 years it was not fun.